Chivalry

"This week, an engineer in his 50s just stood there in the aisle, his hands clasped, as I played Olympic weight-lifting with my suitcase right in front of him. Just stood there, looking intently at the sticky carpet. Probably afraid to chip a nail or something.

Has the women's liberation movement really scared the bejesus out of men this much?

When did it become chivalrous to steadfastly look away and not bother to help?"

Let me tell you a story.  I once went out with a woman on a blind date.  She wanted to meet me there at the restaurant rather than me picking her up.  That was fine.  I got to the restaurant early and found she was already there.  So we made small talk while we waited for our table as our reservation wasn't for 30 minutes.  I offered to buy her a drink from the bar, she acceded.  I got her a drink and myself a Diet Coke as I rarely drink and NEVER away from home unless I am sure I don't have to drive.  We finally got seated, and continued to make small talk, ordered dinner and proceeded to have what I thought was a nice evening together.  The check came, I paid it, she was all smiles.  I offered to walk her to her car.  She acceded.  Until I tried to open the door to the restaurant to allow her to exit before me.

Then like a light switch she turned toward me and went off on me accusing me of being a neanderthal who thought women couldn't take care of themselves and I was a misogynistic, sexist, chauvinist.


I literally stood there with my mouth open while she went off on me standing at the restaurant door, my hand on the handle.

I now understand what the issue is.

I think.

Ladies....

You want a man to be Chivalrous, when YOU want to be pampered, or want help with something or you don't want to do something.  You only want that courtesy on YOUR Terms.

I'm sorry.

My chivalry isn't just some switch that can be turned on or off to suit your whims.

Either you accept my manners as I know them or don't expect anything of me.

And that is what they are.  Proper manners.

I have a saying I tell to ladies, who I still to this day open doors for, or let go in front of me at the store.

"I was raised to be a gentleman, I just don't always act like it."

So don't expect me nor many other men to stand there idly while you have your little conniption fit because we don't do what you feel we should do.

You created this morass of ambiguity.  Now deal with it.

Ladies I know, Ladies older than me, I will ALWAYS go out of my to open a door or show them courtesy.

Older ladies at the store I don't know, I show courtesy to.

Other women, notice I didn't say "Ladies" because until you have proven to me you are acceptable of proper manners, you are just a woman, I will ignore.

Ladies on the other hand, I will bust my back to assist and show courtesy to.  And so will most properly mannered men.  Because we HAVE manners.  Because we try our very hardest to BE Gentlemen.

The problem is, you have to let us be those Gentlemen.