Found on a forum I frequent

The neighbor across the street is a nice lady, but the family before her were all a bunch of morons.
One day they had a house guest who was equally idiotic. At the time I owned 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. I was getting out of that vehicle after coming home from work one afternoon and their house guest was standing next to her Wrangler and laughed at my Laredo and yelled, "You need to get a real Jeep!"
I just stood there with the 'are you [bleep]ing kidding me?' look while she just smiled her little smug, idiot grin.
So I put my index finger up in a 'wait one second' gesture and hit the button on my garage door opener. I then pointed to the 1944 Willys Army Jeep clearly seen sitting in the garage and turned back to her. I yelled, "Yeah, you were saying what about 'real Jeeps,' now?"
After she pulled her jaw off the ground, she turned and practically ran inside. My wife and I had a long laugh about the whole thing...

Also:

When my wife and got married, I was still in the Army and we lived in a duplex. One set losers after another moved next door, I swear each were more annoying than the other. One kept having huge parties.
I had my WW2 Jeep at an airshow that weekend, and after Saturday's show I drove home with my stuff as the airfield wasn't far from there. I was dressed as a WW2 military policeman, complete with a original military 12G 'trench' shotgun (it was a M1897, you can google it). It was about 9 PM and I was exhausted from being on my feet and talking with the public all day with all that gear on.
So, I pull up and a car is blocking our garage door. I was not amused.
This is where I should have stopped to think. Instead, I banged on the door and told the person who answered the door (not someone who lived there) that the offending car needs to be moved most ricky-tick.
The owner of said car rocketed by me at light speed, apologizing over and over again. He even squealed the tires backing it out of there and took it down the street.
I pulled in, shut the Jeep down, tossed my gear in the back I'd need again the next day and climbed the stairs to the bedroom. My wife was already asleep (more like trying to do so) and asked what all the commotion was minutes ago. I climbed into bed and told her quickly. She sat up and said, "You didn't happen to be armed when you pounded on their door, were you?"
Oh...... poop.
I'd banged on their door in my WW2 uniform, but also with a pistol belt and a M1911A1 pistol in the holster, a nightstick on a hanger on the belt, and clutching my shotgun!
I didn't get to sleep for a while, as I was listening for the sirens that thankfully never came. Those people never had a party again.