Fwd: A nun grading papers

A nun grading papers

CAN  YOU IMAGINE THE NUN > SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!?

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE,YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. 

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.

THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN  RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1.  IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE & BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF  CREATING THE WORLD
SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2.  ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN  OF ARK. NOAH
BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY,  BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT. 

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH  UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH. 
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES. 
7.  MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED  BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS. 8. THE  EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT.AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE  FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY. 
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.  THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL. 12. THE  GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND  STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES. 15.  WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA. 
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. 17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION. 
18. ST.  JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD. 19. JESUS  ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE. 21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE  PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.  25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.