I've been trying to figure out exactly how to write this post, and what to title it. It's hard at times to admit that things "Aren't Going Well" Especially when you are male. Well between resupplying my kids for school, (clothes, shoes, back packs, notebooks, paper, pencils pens etc) and paying all the other bills I have, (electric, phone, insurance etc) I find myself 6 days into the new month flat broke. Seriously. I just payed all the bills online, (and get a 2% rebate on 2 of them for doing so) and check my bank account. $3.82 OUCH!If it weren't for the fact that I had already filled the tank on the suburban, I wouldn't be able to take the kids to San Antonio this weekend. (Before you ask my mother buys season passes to Sea World in San Antonio for us every year as Christmas Gifts for us) And I take the kids there once a month all year long, as a reward for working hard in school and keeping their chores done. Normally this isn't a problem, however with 7 kids growing like weeds, I couldn't go with the hand me down route for clothes, and the local second-hand store had no clothes suitable for my 2 oldest daughters for school so I had to bite the bullet and buy them new, and as all the major chain stores don't sell the odd sizes my daughters are that hurt me even worse.
I am medically retired/disabled, as such my monthly income is only abut $1,400.00 a month. Up until now, I was managing without having to ask my family for assistance. I could cut my mothers grass to cover my gas for the suburban to drive the kids where they needed to go. A riding mower doesn't kill my back, like trying to use a push mower did the last time I tried it. My ex-wife is supposed to pay me $100.00 a month in child support, but she hasn't had the money and since she's been helping me with the kids, getting them from here to there, and helping out in the house I haven't asked her for it. But I don't know what to do or where to go about this. I don't want to ask for money, as I've always worked and this is embarrassing to me. I don't want to go the pawn shop route, as they will not give me anything near the value for the item I might try to get a loan against, and the only things I've got would be my tools, and I need them or my firearms, and I DO NOT under any circumstances want to have any weapon on mine out of my immediate control for any reason. So I'm in a quandary. What can I do? I am physically unable to do the work I am trained to do. And I am unable to do a large portion of other occupations, due to my spine and nerve damage.
I'm praying. Hopefully I can find some way of reconciling this in the next few days.
Thank you for letting me rant a bit on this. Just typing it out has given me a few ideas, but I won't know how feasible these will be.
Mark
5 comments:
The worst thing about being poor is feeling useless.
I was in line at HEB a couple of weeks back, and paid for my stuff with food stamps. When I got out my card, the person behind me in line decided to have a very loud conversation with the cashier about how the store was hiring.
Fucking lovely. Now, just as soon as I am physically able to be a cashier or a bagger or a stockperson, I'll be all over it. (I worked for Wal-Mart as a cashier for a day and a half years ago and had to leave midway through my second shift at the register because I was in too much pain.)
I hope you're able to find something. I was in panic mode Thursday over how I was going to get my daughter and I to school Friday; we had no gas and no cash for bus fare. (I think my mom put her account in the hole buying me gas on her debit card.)
If it wasn't for the child support, I'd be in even more pain.
Maybe you've already thought of a few things, but I think that the post might be something along the right mode of finding something out there, talking to church folks, friends, family, getting the word out there to see what's shakin'.
Mark, I don't know what to say. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best. Can't your church help?
Good luck!
First off bud, understand that, by our faith, God will provide for our needs. Keep praying and I'll add you to my prayers, especially with Ike playing in the Gulf.
Second, dont' worry. Read that first part again...God will supply your needs. He knows what you need and when you need it even before you do...believe it. I've been there too many times to recount. I've had a September where $2700 magically appeared we needed very badly the day I needed it. Was an "escrow overage" of all things. Go figure.
Third, check out local churches and other places that might help out a little. Don't feel guilty or embarrassed Mark...I know its hard but, we *ALL* need help from time to time. It reminds us that its not always up to only us and gives others the chance to have the wonderful feeling of being able to help someone out. You feel good when you can help someone right? Well, let someone get that feeling by helping you...then, once things get a bit better and you're able...pay forward.
Find someone that is in need of a little help and help them as you can.
Depending on the needs, I'd check local churches, maybe look into doing some odd writing jobs or maybe some "garage sales" of items you don't need.
Another thing I have found here in Houston that you might could do for extra cash is go to auctions where people have not paid thier storage fees and the company is auctioning off what was in the lockers.
I have a friend that started with $20-$50 and bid low on the lots (they have several of these auctions in Houston per week).
They got one for $5 because it was mostly clothes nobody wanted. About 100 peices which they sold at a garage sale for $1-$2 each. They ended up making about $50 off thier $5 investment and that ain't a bad return for a week at all. Alot better then the Pawn Shop path I tell you.
And then there was the $100 lot they got that had firearms and such in it that they ended up making almost $5000.00 off of...those are rare but you see what I mean. And its something you could do easy even with a bad back.
Regardless...don't feel too uneasy about it Mark...you are providing for your family bro...that is a big step in the right direction as many "fathers" don't in this life. A little pride is a good thing..but not when it gets in the way of what is really important.
Asking for help doesn't mean you're a begger, a bad dad, a mooch, or anything else you feel inside.
It means quite the opposite. It means you are in need, recognize you aren't able to do it all and are willing to humble yourself in order to get enough help to meet the shortfall until things get better.
Just understand that someday, you might actually be in the opposite position and be able to help out another person.
And remember how you felt now is how they will be feeling then. Then let that compassion and kindness within you flow out.
And if you are really in need of a little cash (precious little I might add) send me an email at the gmail address and I can probably kick you $20-$50 bucks between now and payday (Friday).
Wish it could be more but, we are a little strapped too but, not overly bad...just have a $1200 house note due...ye gods....sigh.
At a minimum, you're going to get a pair of people more praying for ya!
I appreciate your prayers. I think I've gt it covered. I still have my 401k from my old job and was able to arrange for a 1200.00 loan to be paid back over 3 years. Only 37.00 a month payments for 3 years, and it will allow me to get some repairs on the suburban done, and give me enough gas for the rest of the month, and give me a small cushion for emergencies. Thank you all again.
Mark
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